All Signs Point to Nonsense: Astrology vs. Science

The Real Gab
7 min readFeb 7, 2020

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We’ve all opened a paper to the horoscope section. Reading fortunes can be mildly amusing — particularly when they predict you will become obscenely rich and famous. I have always regarded it as a pastime of tabloids and idle nail salon chatter. But recently it has crept into my life more and more whether through work, social media, or friends.

And I think it’s time we had a little chat.

On multiple occasions I have had co-workers strike up a conversation about zodiac signs around me. I would always try my best in these situations to pretend I don’t exist. But inevitably, I would get dragged in with, “Gabby, when’s your birthday?” When I tell them it’s August, it’s invariably followed with, “Oh, of course you’re a Leo. “

horoscope

I was never sure whether to be flattered or offended, because I really don’t know what that means. So today I took a moment to investigate these alleged characteristics of a Leo. The first hit I found read:

“They love to be in the limelight, which is why many of them make a career in the performing arts.”

I had to laugh a little because just the thought of speaking before a large crowd makes me sweat a little and I enjoyed the acting classes I took in middle school only until I actually had to get on a stage in front of an audience.

The rest of the traits I’ve found searching various astrology sites are just vague and all-encompassing enough to apply almost everyone to some degree. “Creative, passionate, generous, warm-hearted, cheerful, humorous, arrogant, stubborn, self-centered, lazy, inflexible.” I’m sure I can be all those things at times, but none are among the first words I’d use to describe myself. It’s almost as if the position of the stars, moon, and planets have no bearing on my personality or future.

Oh wait. They don’t.

MERCURY GOES BACKWARDS?

That doesn’t stop people from blaming a whole slew of problems on rocks or gas balls way out in the universe. Whether folks are cursing the full moon on a hectic night or attributing their stubbornness or arrogance to their zodiac signs, the celestial bodies sure get a lot of flak.

Mercury tweet

One planet that gets a disproportionate amount of blame is mercury during the dreaded retrograde — a time cars break down, bad first dates strike, and life as we know it goes to hell in hand basket.

I’m not sure that growing up the concept had ever even crossed my path. And I certainly had not exerted the mental energy required to give it any real consideration. But when confronted with it in my own space, by real and social media friends alike, I took a little more notice. We’ve all seen that post — a friend suggesting mercury must be in retrograde because they are having a shitty week. I’ve seen memes ranging from the more jocular, “I’m sorry for the things I said when mercury was in retrograde” to serious warnings telling you to brace yourself for impending doom.

So with mercury in retrograde upon us it seemed like a good a time as any to finally figure out what all the fuss is about. Planets can’t go backwards. Let’s all just take a moment to agree on that simple fact. But a few times a year as mercury passes earth it appears to be going backwards.

Leo sign

Interestingly enough astrologers seem to acknowledge that it is a an optical illusion, but aren’t deterred from trying to explain how a mere visual trick can somehow impact our lives. I’m pretty sure there was a recognizable smirk on my face when I read on an astrology site that during retrograde the planet is merely taking a “nap,” and therefore the activities it controls aren’t supervised as they are when it’s wide awake.

According to astrologists, Mercury governs over everything from communication, contracts, and transactions, to transportation and computer codes. The lists of do’s and don’ts are extensive and nearly impossible to abide by without going into a cave.

rules for mercury in retrograde
Apparently buying electronics is a no go, so it would be really unfortunate to break your phone on day two of the three week retrograde.

This all seems impressively modern for a 4.5 billion year old planet. As bemused as I am by the inane idea that a distant and ancient planet has some effect on my iPhone, I think it’s worth reviewing the science just one more time in case you were planning to blame mercury next time you were late for work.

AND THEN THERE IS SCIENCE…

I never had any doubts about the overwhelming scientific conclusion that astrology is not a thing, to put it simply. And I applaud NASA’s efforts to distinguish between astronomy — a real scientific study — and the mythology (read: bullshit) of astrology.

But I admittedly needed some brushing up on the science behind interplanetary forces. Yes, it’s OK to admit you don’t know all. And I discovered the only force able to cross such great distances is gravity. But even that diminishes greatly over such vast spaces (i.e. millions of miles across the universe), as to have a negligible impact on earth.

You might be asking yourself how the moon has the ability to affect tides if these distant celestial bodies have no impact on us as humans at all. In fact, early philosophers (who might I add lacked access to the developments of modern science) theorized that because our bodies and brains are comprised of so much water that perhaps the moon could effect our behavior.

But since we’ve learned a lot, a whole lot about the universe and physics. Not only does the moon’s gravitational force only impact open bodies of water, it’s effects are incredibly small. Your cat menacing in a corner plotting your demise is going to have more gravitational force on you than a planet that is 48 million miles away — and so is a fly. There is no plausible mechanism by which planets or stars can impact human affairs. Zilch. Nada. Niet.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM

You may be asking yourself at this point, why can’t I just let people have their fun. If people actually make life choices based off zodiac compatibility or mercury being a dick there is a reason for pause, but people make lots of questionable choices that I can’t control.

However, when the public begins to confuse science and myth my rational senses are awakened. Sure astronomy and astrology sound pretty damn alike but the comparison ends there. Astrology comes to us from the ancient times well before modern science, when mythology explained the explainable and provided a framework to live by when no other existed.

In 2014 a survey by the National Science Foundation revealed that almost half of Americans considered astrology to be be “very scientific” or “sort of scientific.” For young adults between 18–24 (aka our future), the number was more than half. Perhaps even more concerning, the number seemed to be moving in the wrong direction from a previous survey in 2004, when 66% surveyed believed astrology to be nonsense.

More recently, the Atlantic probed the issue and found that astrology has experienced a renaissance among millennials in the past five years, finding resonance in a stressed generation looking for ways to escape and explain the world around them.

“In some ways, astrology is perfectly suited for the internet age,” Julie Beck explains. “There’s a low barrier to entry, and nearly endless depths to plumb if you feel like falling down a Google research hole. The availability of more in-depth information online has given this cultural wave of astrology a certain erudition…”

At a time when memes, headlines, and 280 characters tweets are how we absorb information, shorts quips about astrology go unquestioned as we scroll through our feeds. And if you did choose to do some research, more sites will come up about the “science of astrology” than those explaining actual astrophysics.

The article goes on to suggest that many of these astrology revivalists may not literally believe in astrology, but that it has become a language of expression. In fact it’s really challenging to determine just how many people actually believe in astrology since interaction with it can range from occasionally reading a horoscope to consulting with an astrologer to pick your husband.

But with the vast amounts of bad information on social media it has become more important than ever to define the boundaries between facts and fantasy rather than blur them further. Science, not pseudoscience, should be used to make informed choices about everything from our health to national policy. And thus it’s essential that we not only distinguish between information obtained through the scientific method of inquiry and belief systems, but relegate myths to their own well-defined realm of the internet.

The actual science of space is fascinating enough on its own that I found no need to try to study the fake version. If you’re not amazed by the fact the sun’s mass takes up 99% of the mass of the solar system, that there may be a planet made of diamonds, or any of the other mind blowing facts about the universe, then I really don’t think I can help you.

If you take nothing away from this except one thing let it be this: if you ask me my star sign in the future you’re going to get a eye roll and a link to this article.

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The Real Gab
The Real Gab

Written by The Real Gab

Two bloggers who tackle reality — whether in science, politics, travel, or every day attempts at adult life. Find us at therealgab.com

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